smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
