I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
