Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
