Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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