You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
