just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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