physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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