honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
