where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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