his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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