You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
