We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
