living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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