Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
