I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
