we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize