is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
