Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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