I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
How's work?
Spinning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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