oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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