Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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