maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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