I can tuck mytits in my pants
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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