im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
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im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
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i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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