oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Who wears a wallet chain?!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
