Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize