You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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