were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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