My first STD was from a foam party
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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