Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Even my vagina gasped.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
