Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
