Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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