put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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