I wish I only lived at night.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
