We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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