I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize