C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
