So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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