State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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