Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
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tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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