Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
