i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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