i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
