idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
