I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize