Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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