hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
