It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
