All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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