dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize