we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
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