she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
