You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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