So drunk, too bad you don't want this
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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