Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
