he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
