Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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