So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
