In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
