you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
