I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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