dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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