You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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